For much of my life, food has been a source comfort for me. When I was sad, I would eat. When I was angry, I would eat. Happy, eat. I am sure you get the picture. Eating has always been easier than talking about the emotions I was trying to suppress.
On Sunday morning, I found out that one of my former students was very sick. He asked for me to come see him. My heart broke. I went to see him. I told him how extremely special he was. I asked if he knew Jesus and he said yes! Yesterday, he passed away. I didn't even have a chance to process the fact he was sick and now he is gone.
I need to talk about it and haven't felt like I can. I am thrilled he had accepted Christ and honored that he thought enough of me to want to see me, but my heart is broken. This is the kind of thing that makes me really want to eat crap. I haven't.
To complicate things, talking about this with Bethany causes her pain. It brings up too many things from her past, so I am hesitant to say much. She will be upset with me for not talking about it with her, but hopefully she will understand that this situation is difficult enough. Knowing that this experience adds to her pain breaks my heart.
So, I will put it here and use this as an outlet to keep from getting sidetracked on my meal plan. The fact that I didn't drown my sorrow with chips and salsa is a victory. I am determined to make it through this week without eating to deal with the emotions.
Be blessed.
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