In reality, I am a hot mess. I go through the motions, but I would rather stay home. I am depressed. Something that many of us deal with. My depression comes with OCD and panic/anxiety disorder. I really have struggled, but I have great friends. I have the kind of friends who encourage me to talk through what I am feeling. They allow me to feel the emotions I am feeling and they do not invalidate them. They encourage me to workout (even though I have really sucked it up in this area). They tell me they love me and they pray for me.
Most of the time when someone asks me how I am, I say I am blessed. This past week I saw one of my Cg friends and she asked how I was and I said I was okay. She looked at me and said that is not what I normally say so I told her I was blessed. I have thought about this conversation everyday since it happened. What I realized is that even when life is hard, I am BLESSED.
Depression clouds my ability to see myself as worthy. It causes me to doubt the intentions of the friends I mentioned above. I struggle to make positive choices. I isolate myself from people. I avoid social situations. I get up and go to work because I have to. So, what should I do. For me, I have sought treatment for my symptoms. I have a plan in place to get back to my workout routine. I allow myself to grieve my mother's death. My friends continue to pray for me.
Depression does not have to rule my life. I am worth the effort it will take to overcome my depression. You are worth it too!
Be blessed and be kind!
