For those of you who do not know, I spent 16 years in an air conditioned classroom. I taught. Most years, I would say, I was good at it. I loved working with kids. During this time, I worked with hundreds of children and prayed that I would do a good job. Kids would come and go every year and I would wonder if I had really made a difference. The invention of social media brought many of these kids back in to my life. It is always nice to get random messages from them telling me they were thinking of me and how much they enjoyed my class. I made a difference.
Leaving the classroom was very difficult for me. I had never even considered doing anything else. It was all I had known for a majority of my adult life. When I volunteered to work for my friend in December of 2014, I did it because she needed help. I had no intention of doing it long term. She needed help with the behind the scenes part of her job. You know, the kind of "paperwork" type things that have to be done, keeping up with dates, making lists...the things I really didn't like about school teaching, but I was good at it because it had to be done. I just never saw myself as a fitness trainer's assistant. I have laughed more than once at the fact that I work in the fitness industry.
I have had to overcome so many obstacles along the way. The biggest being the way I look at myself. I really struggle to see myself the way others see me. I know I have changed a great deal in the short time I have been doing this job, but because of my experiences I still sometimes see myself as an almost 400 pound woman. This is something that I pray about on a regular basis. Not only that, but there are people in my life who remind me regularly that I am not that person anymore.
I would be the first person to encourage someone to not give up. I would tell someone else to focus on the small successes they are seeing at camp...you know, things like running 3/4 of the warmup lap with out stopping or moving from 5 lb weights up to 8s. I will tell someone else to stay out of their head and keep pushing. I know what I am supposed to do and it is easy to encourage others to do these things. Truth is, this get fit thing is really hard for me. I have tried hard to surround myself with positive people who will encourage me and, if need be, show me tough love. I have learned a lot about myself and who I can trust since starting this fitness journey in 2014. There are people who I no longer allow close to me because they made it clear that I could not trust them. There are people who have become like family to me, people I trust with my life, who have shown that they are invested in me and can be trusted.
I have spent a good bit of time trying to get my body to cooperate with me. I'll get hurt at camp and then have to allow my body to heal. I have been seeing a doctor for these issues and after being down with a bad shoulder for 1 1/2 years, I was finally able to bear crawl again. It felt good!
It is not going to be easy everyday, but I have to continue to set small, short term goals and strive to meet them. I have to continue to be transparent about this journey and allow myself to feel the emotion associated with it. I must continue to give God the glory for the changes in my life. I have to keep making progress because there is another person in this world who needs to see that anyone can do this. I will not quit. I will become the person Bethany says she can see.
Be blessed!
I have had to overcome so many obstacles along the way. The biggest being the way I look at myself. I really struggle to see myself the way others see me. I know I have changed a great deal in the short time I have been doing this job, but because of my experiences I still sometimes see myself as an almost 400 pound woman. This is something that I pray about on a regular basis. Not only that, but there are people in my life who remind me regularly that I am not that person anymore.
I would be the first person to encourage someone to not give up. I would tell someone else to focus on the small successes they are seeing at camp...you know, things like running 3/4 of the warmup lap with out stopping or moving from 5 lb weights up to 8s. I will tell someone else to stay out of their head and keep pushing. I know what I am supposed to do and it is easy to encourage others to do these things. Truth is, this get fit thing is really hard for me. I have tried hard to surround myself with positive people who will encourage me and, if need be, show me tough love. I have learned a lot about myself and who I can trust since starting this fitness journey in 2014. There are people who I no longer allow close to me because they made it clear that I could not trust them. There are people who have become like family to me, people I trust with my life, who have shown that they are invested in me and can be trusted.
I have spent a good bit of time trying to get my body to cooperate with me. I'll get hurt at camp and then have to allow my body to heal. I have been seeing a doctor for these issues and after being down with a bad shoulder for 1 1/2 years, I was finally able to bear crawl again. It felt good!
It is not going to be easy everyday, but I have to continue to set small, short term goals and strive to meet them. I have to continue to be transparent about this journey and allow myself to feel the emotion associated with it. I must continue to give God the glory for the changes in my life. I have to keep making progress because there is another person in this world who needs to see that anyone can do this. I will not quit. I will become the person Bethany says she can see.
Be blessed!
