A turtle with a team...I mean family

As I have mentioned before, being slower than everyone else bothers me. It is a constant struggle for me. I want to keep up, heck, let's be honest about it...I want to win! This is something that I have thought about, sought wise counsel about, and I have spent many hours praying about it. What I have come to understand through this process is I am winning.

On June 20th, I started and finished my first Spartan race. Talk about something that challenged me. The physical challenge was nothing compared to the mental challenge. My friend, Josephine, asked me to do this race with her. She said we would race with the Lone Star Spartan "turtle group". A turtle group...I remember thinking, "Oh, great. Now I will be slowing down a whole group of people." I worried about the race for days. I was literally sick to my stomach every time I thought about it. What I didn't know is that this experience would change me.

Josephine has been a permanent fixture in my life since I was 10 years old. We have done life together. There have been times that she and I have gone long periods of time without seeing each other...life kind of got in the way, but we have a bond that is unbreakable. I have watched her work her butt off to become a better version of herself and secretly wished I could do some of the things she was doing. She was constantly posting about her OCR (obstacle course race) experiences. I would laugh every time she would post another picture of a bruise or photo of her looking like she was going to pass out after a workout. She doesn't know this, but her posts encouraged me to work just a little harder. Jo was at the half marathon I competed. She had volunteered and was assigned to hand out finisher medals. Yes, Jo put the medal around my neck. And it was Jo who told me that the Spartan Sprint would be way easier than I thought.

Now, I am not sure I agree with the easier part because the mental part of the Spartan was rough and it involved other people. I am uneasy in large crowds, especially when I don't know many people. I have a few OCD tendencies that slow me down. I underestimate my abilities most of the time. Oh, and exercise sometimes makes me cry (something I do not like to do in front of people I do not know and trust). So, I would not say that the Spartan was easier for me.

Being a part of the turtle team taught me a few things. I remember apologizing the first few times I had to step on someone to get over a wall. John looked up at me and said, "It's okay. That is why I am here." He then slapped his knee and told me to go. He is also the one who said we were family when I commented about making new friends. This is something I thought about as I was trying my best to complete the obstacles. FAMILY? How could he say this just second before we started this race? I just didn't understand.

In the 3 hours and 8 minutes that it took me to finish the race, I figured our exactly what he meant. I was amazed by this group of Spartans. I was slow. Josephine never left my side. She was so patient with me when I would have to stop to rest on the bleachers or on the next landing in a stairwell, I remember thinking that I was holding her back and that there was no way that the team was any where near us. We would turn a corner and there they were...all of them. They would ask if I was okay and walk with me for a bit. This happened over and over.

Cg (Camp Gladiator) has been a wonderful experience for me. I have met some terrific people there. I proudly wore my Cg Strong shirt and started the race as a Gladiator. When I finished the race, I was still a Gladiator, but I was also a Spartan. A Lone Star Spartan to be precise. I was not the fastest and I struggled, but I grew and I learned that  sometimes a "family" is made. I never struggled alone during my race and I finished with my team. I had to do burpees at the last two obstacles and when Jo and I finished, she looked at me and said, "Do you want to go ahead and cross the finish line or do you want to go over there to the team?" It was an easy decision. They never left me and I wasn't going to leave them...that was my family.

What I know now is that it doesn't matter how fast you get it done. What matters is that you do it with the right heart and that you support others along the way. Proud to be a turtle!

I am a turtle

When I was a little girl, I had to have tutoring. I would walk two streets down from my house and spend an hour with Susan. I would sit at a dressing table and try to do my assignments. I will admit that I spent a good amount of time looking in the mirror and around the room. On the right side on the mirror was a little turtle made from green construction paper. Susan had printed a message on that turtle. It said, "The steady man wins the race." Thirty-five (or so) years later, I still think about that turtle and having to have tutoring...but I think about the life lesson Susan taught me with the saying on the turtle.

I have never been one to do anything quickly. In fact, I am very reluctant to try new things. I am a bit of a perfectionist and I don't like to do things unless I can do them correctly and at the same pace as everyone else. I am very competitive too. This makes my fitness journey a bit difficult. I get discouraged often. It doesn't take much...a look or comment from one of the other campers, criticism from the wrong person, another injury, or not feeling like I am good enough are just a few examples. I have a tendency to just shut down. This is something I am working on.

This journey has been interesting. I would have never thought that I would be where I am today if you would have asked me several years ago. I was a mess. I weighed between 350 and 400 pounds in 2008. In June of 2015, I weigh around 250 and I have done things i have never thought possible.

In March, I completed a half marathon. I went with a group of my friends from Camp Gladiator. They all finished long before I did. Bethany (my trainer/best friend) finished her race in a little over two hours. They waited for me as I plugged along. I was slow, but I did finish. It took 4 hours and 8 minutes. I am a turtle.

I can still close my eyes and see that finish line. I can still remember how I felt when I turned the corner toward it and I remember hearing these words, "You finish strong, you hear me?" I didn't think I had anything left, but I took off running. I crossed the finish line. I looked to my left to see Crystal (who had been sick and didn't run). I hugged her. She said, "I am so proud of you! I promised you I would be here when you crossed the finish line." It was her voice telling me to finish strong.

That half marathon was a major victory for me. It helped me realize that I was capable of doing things that I felt were impossible. I didn't finish with my friends, but I finished the same 13.1 miles they did and I have a goal for next year.

Slow and steady. One step at a time. A lesson taught to me as a child that has been a benefit to me as an adult. Finishing the half marathon by myself was something I needed to do. You can do these things too...the first step is the hardest (you know, the one that takes you off of your couch). Be blessed!